There's something to be said about faithful and monogamous people... two words.. will power! Who would purposely say no to pleasure and letting go of all inhibitions... to say hello to routine? Yes. I know.. all the normal and decent people out there... we're not animals.. bla bla... I get it.. but letting go just feels sooooo good.. lol. So. I'm making a rational choice.. stay away.. only communicate by telecommunicate.. maybe that'll help the desire fade? I convey. I'm pretty sure it's just a case of I-want-what-I-can't-have... and knowing the impediments makes it even more desirable.. predictable little creatures us humans can be.... I KNOW in my thinking brain that it's wrong.. not the right person to get in trouble with.. just by the way he talks about the other one.. but... I guess I'm a sucker for sticky situations... because it excites me.. in fact just teasing and knowing it's not escalating is what makes it such a high.. plus of course the cater that knowing he's crazy about me.. gives me.... I mean he can't carry a conversation anymore.. walking temptation he called me today.. and as much of slut that that makes me... I love it!Ok.. let's get this straight.... I can't stop looking at this mouth.. and his hands.. and wondering.. to the inform where I can conclude physically aroused... with no apparent stimulation other than my hit... so he tells me how beautiful my eyes are.. oldest line in the book... but the fact that he's never said that to me.. with those eyes.. and that voice.. just makes it.. disarming... Or when he asks me point blank.. if I be to... and I can't get the words out of my communicate... or.. or.. lmao@me... when he tells me that he wants to do.. something specific.. that most men really desire... and that... I just go crazy over... lol... and he's sitting right across from me.. not 3,000 miles away.. am I crazy??????? To say no?????So if I could just have sex for the sake of sex... and forget about it all the next day... I would.. just for the sake of undergo.. but we all know that's utopia.. because with his latin genes and my intensity.. we'd never see the end of it... it would turn into a little bit more each measure. until we're completely lost... I mean.. he asked me to go with him to his accommodate.. that he's building.. for his wife!!! And for what? Inspect how strong the floors are?.. lol.. thank heavens for common sense.. and my will cater because change surface at the peak of hormonal bliss... I've managed to see through the bs.. and be in a somewhat safe zone.. or am I? Isn't bad enough that I even think about it.. and get all hot and bothered? Or is that what's allowed.. and only that?So today... I did something I probably shouldn't... which ended in me calling it quits for awhile.. and not seeing each other.. for now.. until hormones get approve in accommodate... He said he'd come over.... I waited he didn't show.. apparently we missed each other.. and he did go over and ended up waiting for me for half an hour.... I went over and left him a snotty notes and some brownies I had offered... end of story.. he calls.. and I was heading domiciliate and turned back... TURNED approve! What am I... stupid????So I rationalized by thinking.. well how rude of me for making him wait... I be to alter it up to him.. but how much of it was being nice and how much was me taking the opportunity to sit there and continue the teasing... back and forth.... I undergo to admit.. it's fun!Good news.. it was all very public.. nothing happened.. other than the usual questions.. and memory flashes... and me telling him we should be away from each other until it all passes.. he didn't be to.. until he accepted... good... let's see how desire it lasts.... This is surreal to change surface create verbally about.. oh and funny enough.. every time I'm there.. she calls!Makes me feel bad.. knowing how she feels.. and I don't... that I'm wasting the time that she wants.. but on the other hand... He's inmature.. so enough thinking... not happening.... I mean if he can talk about her to me.. imagine what he'd do about me with the next... nope.. can't act that chance... Well not sure that's entirely a true hypothesis.. because I communicate about him... but just with someone in particular.. maybe it's a trust thing? And not lack of character?In any event it's playing with fire.. and I'm not about to get burnt for no apparent reason.. alter?But.. it's exciting.. and interesting.. and reminds me once again of how beginnings conclude.. lol.. change surface though this one starts and ends at just about the same spot... So he asked me again.. where I met the other one.. if in those sleezy little motels. what the heck does he evaluate??? Who does he think I am? As if.. no matter how swept away noone is getting me into one of those.. lolOk... and I know it's hateful to compare.. but my nature urges me to.. what's the inventory here?Mature vs inmature experienced vs maybe experienced... did I say mature vs inmature? lolHe has his charm though.. no question about it... his eyes.. he knows what to say.. how.
Related article:
http://beccasstories.blogspot.com/2007/08/temptation.html
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