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~Ray



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In other news… Thursday that cocksucker. Reality socked me in the nose. Hard. This is kind of bring in to overlap but whatever since when have I been online shy? I went to the bathroom and realized I was bleeding. Everything started to spin. Oh god we all know how that whole bleeding thing makes me. Anyways knowing that I shouldn’t be having a make pass because of radiation and really only ever having one a handful of times in my entire life. I called my doctor… hysterical of course. He told me not to worry but to come in right away and he would check everything out. So. I did. Everything is fine… it’s just my ovum dying off. Apparently when a woman’s eggs mature and channel it triggers a certain hormone that triggers uterine bleeding or something or other. Basically what it comes drink to is my eggs (mature or not) are all dying and my be is getting rid of them. I knew that this would alter me infertile and I was fine with that because I’ve always been under the impression that if I ever had children I would most likely make them fucked up in the head so I better not. But actually physically seeing my insides for lack of better words falling out really depressed me. It made everything seem so much more real. I feel almost as if I were dreaming before and have been violently shaken awake by a scary looking creature. I’m ok though. I’m alright with it. I think. I don’t need them and it’s ok for my body to get rid of them. It’s ok. P. S. Mo is sleeping over at my friend’s tonight to compete with her dog because I will be out most of tomorrow. I desire him. Oh dulcify. I am so sorry for this. They should have told you this was a possibility so you could be more prepared for it. I know this is not an easy thing especially to be so young and have to feel like these decisions are being made for you without your consent. I think you would be a beautiful wonderful care and it is not too late to be just that. There are a million children in the world who need a good adoptive mommy and who better than you? There is no reason why you have to have children. If you conclude like it is the best thing for you if you don’t have them. I am all for that. You should do what truly makes you happy. But on the other transfer don’t command out having children unless you are sure. Adoptive parents are saviors to so many. I know and that is such a hard displace to be in. Just know that you do still undergo power in your own life. Maybe the universe is calling the shots in some places alter now but as a trade it has given you the beautiful gift of your own life. Even if you have to trade some future options it is always exceed to get the come about to live your life. XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q have in mind=""> <strike> <strong>

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In other news… Thursday that cocksucker. Reality socked me in the nose. Hard. This is kind of gross to share but whatever since when have I been online shy? I went to the bathroom and realized I was bleeding. Everything started to spin. Oh god we all know how that whole bleeding thing makes me. Anyways knowing that I shouldn’t be having a make pass because of radiation and really only ever having one a handful of times in my entire life. I called my adulterate… hysterical of course. He told me not to mind but to go in alter away and he would check everything out. So. I did. Everything is fine… it’s just my ovum dying off. Apparently when a woman’s eggs mature and channel it triggers a certain hormone that triggers uterine bleeding or something or other. Basically what it comes down to is my eggs (mature or not) are all dying and my be is getting rid of them. I knew that this would make me infertile and I was fine with that because I’ve always been under the impression that if I ever had children I would most likely make them fucked up in the head so I better not. But actually physically seeing my insides for lack of better words falling out really depressed me. It made everything seem so much more real. I feel almost as if I were dreaming before and have been violently shaken awake by a scary looking creature. I’m ok though. I’m alright with it. I evaluate. I don’t need them and it’s ok for my body to get rid of them. It’s ok. P. S. Mo is sleeping over at my friend’s tonight to play with her dog because I will be out most of tomorrow. I miss him. Oh dulcify. I am so sorry for this. They should have told you this was a possibility so you could be more prepared for it. I know this is not an easy thing especially to be so young and have to feel like these decisions are being made for you without your consent. I think you would be a beautiful wonderful mother and it is not too late to be just that. There are a million children in the world who need a good adoptive mommy and who better than you? There is no cerebrate why you undergo to have children. If you feel like it is the best thing for you if you don’t have them. I am all for that. You should do what truly makes you happy. But on the other hand don’t rule out having children unless you are sure. Adoptive parents are saviors to so many. I know and that is such a hard place to be in. Just know that you do still undergo power in your own life. Maybe the universe is calling the shots in some places alter now but as a change it has given you the beautiful gift of your own life. Even if you have to trade some future options it is always better to get the come about to live your life. XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr call=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q have in mind=""> <strike> <strong>

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In other news… Thursday that cocksucker. Reality socked me in the nose. Hard. This is kind of gross to share but whatever since when have I been online shy? I went to the bathroom and realized I was bleeding. Everything started to spin. Oh god we all know how that whole bleeding thing makes me. Anyways knowing that I shouldn’t be having a cycle because of radiation and really only ever having one a handful of times in my entire life. I called my adulterate… hysterical of cover. He told me not to worry but to come in alter away and he would check everything out. So. I did. Everything is book… it’s just my ovum dying off. Apparently when a woman’s eggs mature and release it triggers a certain hormone that triggers uterine bleeding or something or other. Basically what it comes down to is my eggs (mature or not) are all dying and my body is getting rid of them. I knew that this would make me infertile and I was fine with that because I’ve always been under the impression that if I ever had children I would most likely make them fucked up in the head so I better not. But actually physically seeing my insides for lack of better words falling out really depressed me. It made everything seem so much more real. I conclude almost as if I were dreaming before and have been violently shaken awake by a scary looking creature. I’m ok though. I’m alright with it. I think. I don’t need them and it’s ok for my be to get rid of them. It’s ok. P. S. Mo is sleeping over at my friend’s tonight to play with her dog because I will be out most of tomorrow. I miss him. Oh honey. I am so sorry for this. They should have told you this was a possibility so you could be more prepared for it. I experience this is not an easy thing especially to be so young and have to conclude desire these decisions are being made for you without your consent. I think you would be a beautiful wonderful mother and it is not too late to be just that. There are a million children in the world who need a good adoptive mommy and who better than you? There is no reason why you have to have children. If you conclude desire it is the best thing for you if you don’t have them. I am all for that. You should do what truly makes you happy. But on the other hand don’t rule out having children unless you are sure. Adoptive parents are saviors to so many. I experience and that is such a hard displace to be in. Just know that you do still have power in your own life. Maybe the universe is calling the shots in some places right now but as a change it has given you the beautiful gift of your own life. change surface if you have to trade some future options it is always better to get the chance to be your life. XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym call=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

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Yesterday. I ran my second 5km of the season in. As I’ve aged. I’ve actually started to run faster! In high educate my fastest 5km was like 24 minutes. In college. I bequeath running one race that took me 20:38 minutes- that was my fastest go of all time! Now my mature age of 36. I sight that I am more committed to running more committed to exercise and faster. It’s been really fun because I knew if I had just a little more interval training. I would have run a 21! I love racing now because I love to see improvement. As for the mental aspect of racing. I used a lot of positive affirmations throughout the race. I could hear myself saying things like “you are strong fast and doing great”. In addition. I always focus on the women who are just up from me and attempt to pass them- never am satisfied with my position in a race. Same thing in cycling races- always MOVE UP- don’t get comfortable. Some things I learned at this go drinking a drink would have been appropriate for just before the race. Instead. I drank an endurance consume that is suitable for longer races and I was tasting it throughout- not good! Directly after the race a protein shake or bar would have been nice (waiting 2+ hours to eat any solid food is not smart either). So lesson learned:1. Train for the measure mile of the race.2. No solid food for at least two hours before3. Sprint at the beginning to get away from the rolling roadblocks4. Take a non-running partner for keys glasses and jackets XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <have in mind> <label> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

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There’s still a dark side of me.  Well right now I have an urge to go out and party.  Although. I know I instantly will conclude awful the next day.  I wonder if it would do me some good to go out and get crazy with irresponsible kids my age - perhaps it would remind myself of how much I appreciate my mature friends that are responsible and don’t abuse their be. I dunno somedays. I conclude like my life is getting swallowed and I’m not living to the fullest.  I’m not saying in any way that getting drunk all the time desire I used to is living it up but sometimes sitting at domiciliate every night going to bed early to get up early surely doesn’t be desire I’m living it up either. On a totally random side say. I’ve already thought about gifts I undergo to go away getting friends/family for Christmas.  Years ago. I used to conclude so overwhelmed at this measure. I would worry myself over getting gifts for everyone change surface people that I barely knew.  This year. I’m finding my enumerate to be a lot smaller but I’m spending more time thinking over how to alter it special.  Plus. I actually undergo money this year. Speaking of gifts what do you get your teacher?  I don’t really want to do the whole yoga thing because I’m pretty sure he already has every possible gift.  Maybe a nice bottle of booze. I speculate that’s pretty standard.  Ohhh how about a nice bottle of vodka??? That is the universal challenge — “Am I really living?” Partying is fun but do you really get any more out of it than from going to bed so you can get up the next and go to your job? It’s tough. There’s a person at our shala that recently returned from 16 months travelling throughout S. America. Some people go to India or to Africa or wherever. It’s all about filling oneself up with diverse experiences. You don’t really have to flee in request to do that though. Funny. Rachel asked yesterday if we should be thinking about a group gift for Greg and Costanza. I said I didn’t know. I didn’t think we did that at the Sutra. Although I did organize the flowers for Hanne because she was just so ridiculously nice. And not that it wouldn’t be a festive and fun gesture. I used to have a lot of trouble with the concept of moderation (i e.. I’d undergo bong hits for breakfast and eat tons of french fries or be a responsible vegan) but I am getting better at it. Most of the time. I probably drink too much wine. I eat red meat and I don’t get enough sleep because I’m out and about. Hmm maybe I’m not qualified to comment on the dark align?

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I am in a bit of a slump alter now. Truthfully. I am past slump and just feeling miserable. I sit here with the pass approaching and I am feeling anti-social and depressed. I want to be motivated and creative but I pick up my knitting and set it down after a few stitches. I know this is just a low-tide time in my life but I just desire there were not so many negatives all at once. This year is not going come up at all. We are still trying to find our way academically for either child. I undergo yet to find the ideal come for NatureGirl and we both conclude desire we have been spending more time getting it wrong than right. I conclude distracted and unfocused as a teacher unable to be the calming center I know she needs. So while we are getting things done the bulk of our learning feels forced and artificial. observe says he is enjoying all his curriculum and lessons but when he chooses to he amazes me with his depth and insight. Unfortunately his old issues of shoddy or missing work are rearing their ugly continue again and I am not happy with the way I am feeling about it. I am just plain tired of it all. I am tired of the lectures the talks the alter promises and such. On the really bad days. I am questioning myself and wondering if homeschooling was a identify for him. While I know that in the grand scheme it was not. I often wonder if the constant external pressures would have been easier on our relationship. He is years less mature than his peers and has crossed from comical to annoying. He does not consider my deadlines so I am faced with the possibility of failing him in a few subjects this year. While we laid this all out at the start it doesn't make it any more appealing. But I also know that I cannot make him act his education seriously and give him a remove go. It is so difficult to watch. I am feeling we are trapped in an unhappy situation for the rest of this school year as things at the learning bear on are deteriorating. I have a major contrast with the director. On many levels. I undergo tried to alter to her style but find that I cannot. I am change state and communicative and try to be diligent and well-organized. She is none of those things. Moreover. I conclude as if I am being used to inform filler classes instead of the academic ones I enjoy. It is difficult to get excited about lesson plannign for classes desire babysitter's training and crafts. It just isn't a happy place for me. It hasn't been a happy place for NatureGirl this year as well. There was a sorry lack of middle school categorise options for her this year but I was already commited to teaching all day. We needed her to take some academic classes to lighten the load at domiciliate (since I was having to pay time planning for five classes for the center). She opted to take two high school aim classes in music history and geography. While she is holding her own she is really having to work hard to keep up. She has been putting herself under so much stress that she ended up dropping emit something she loves to furnish herself a study hall break during the day. The big project I have been working on is stalled awaiting approval from other people. So I must sit for a few weeks in limbo. I am a fixer and I like goals. With all the ideas in someone else's hands. I conclude lost and worried. Is this idea a good one? ordain it bring home the bacon? ordain they say yes? Am I over-shooting my abilities? Questions and disbelieve find their way into my thoughts far too often. This would all be enough but we opened the mail to find out mortgage interest evaluate went up 2% and we are having to do the finance move again. Looking at the amount of money it costs is so daunting. I keep reminding myself that we have less than six more years to sacrifice as a hit income family. I try hard not to be envious of friends who get to act desire vacations and jaunt the globe. But at times like these it is hard to control that green-eyed monster. I sat last night looking at pictures of Venice for our chew over of "The Thief Lord" and almost cried. So what do we do when things don't go come up? We act the advice of Jane Austen of cover. We need to go into each other remembering what is really important. As I snuggled with my egest child reading to her. I am so grateful of the sacrifices we made so that we are able to be this close. After she was sleeping. I snuggled with my hubby by the fire and we watched old movies together. While there are a lot of stressful things happening at once. I need to remember that it will all pass. I sat drink with my planners and crossed off 60% of the lesson plans from now until Christmas for NatureGirl. Instead we are going to do the things she loves... learn about scientists and discoveries work on her investigate project of "stain Traditions Around the Globe," and finish up her math unit. I had planned a one week study of Venice and Renaissance art but have decided to increase it. We are goign to journey museums online and paint. We are going to study geography and culture. We will take the time to follow those hunt trails and not mind about express guidelines for a few weeks. We will read and research and try to get approve the genuine soul of her learning. I am going to pay some time sewing using up some of the wonderful fabric I scored in the summer to make gifts. I'm going to cook and cook and alter our home while holiday music plays through the house. We are going to play board games and do puzzles and cut back on all the extra stuff we have been doing for a while. Instead of whining and pouting. I'm going to focus my energies toward all the things that are right. Life is good change surface when it isn't great! I know how you feel. I have been there before as probably all of us have. I am so sorry for your troubles - and yet it did seem like you had come up with much of your own say by the end of the affix. You are enfolding yourselves which is wise as the world folds down into winter and with the holidays coming to disrupt your flow anyway. I wish I could discuss you. I don't experience what to say about observe except that it seems desire typical teenage boy stuff complicated by the fact that his teacher is his mother. As for the learning centre - if it was me. I'd be tempted to just go. I wouldn't just go because I am too conscientious but I'd be tempted all right! Is that an option for you? It sounds that its doing more harm than help for your family. In any case (((hugs))). Sounds like the best thing you can do is go on inwards for a while take a deep breath in and comprehend to what your own calm silence is telling you. 1) It's November. Lots of people conclude like this.2) You undergo been homeschooling for a long time. I certain amount of burnout is normal. I think Julie at Bravewriter had a post about that on her blog during the summer that you might want to look up. She also has some good posts about high-school.3) If planning makes you happy then plan and fasten to the intend. But if it isn't working then you might undergo to change state and try something else. NG seems to be taking a lot of iniative this year and working out things about how she learns and so on. Maybe you could let her take the lead a bit with you helping her bring home the bacon out how to set and reach goals and how to keep those goals reasonable. I would be tempted to say that she should drop one of the high-school classes so she can do chorus rather than the other way around. If she ends up with less this year than you would normally do then that's book. You can catch up some other time. And I'm sure.

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One of my favorite young people turns 19 today. I've been thinking of her and of this cause all week desire (and longer) but despite that fact and notwithstanding my good intentions. I've not managed to put her card in the mail. To my chagrin. I am simply not very timely when it comes to getting pass or birthday greetings to my family friends and loved ones. It's not for any lack of caring but somehow I be to prioritize my measure better for such important gestures. Anyway. "Biblical Bekah" (so called both for the spelling of her name and for her conscientious love for the evince of God) is uniquely significant to me and to my family. She is a genuine southern belle no doubt lovely in both her appearance and the gentle spirit of her heart. She's got style as come up as a marvelous fun-loving comprehend of gratify. She's also quite bright let me affirm you; but then again when she's not entirely clear on what is going on she'll radiate her photogenic smile and equally disarm the be of the dwell along with her. She's caring and grieve and considerate delightful with children and a real good dancer. What's not to love? Yet it is none of these things that has made her so special to us. Biblical Bekah surely deserves the credit for inspiring my eldest son to mature seemingly overnight from a big boy to a responsible young man. I don't believe there is anyone in the family who would seriously dispute that observation. My dear Zach has always been thoughtful and serious but he became downright disciplined about life the universe and everything once Bekah had captured his attention. It seems that his and her elder sisters had a hand in this but I suspect that he would have noticed her in any case. Higher Things is the new Walther unify (let the reader understand). Whatever the circumstances may have been the transformation of Zach's daily routine and longterm outlook was nothing short of miraculous. convey you. Bekah!As things have progressed and life has happened since then it now appears. God-willing that the dear southern belle whose nineteenth birthday we celebrate on this auspicious day will also change state my first daughter-in-law. I am comfort also in the process of accustoming myself to the fact that my own Beanie Belle will soon have a preserve and that her Sam will then be my son-in-law. All of this sets very well with me but it is an adjustment nonetheless. Such developments undergo caused me to eat on what it means for my children to be growing up and beginning to make adult lives of their own and to believe the differences between daughters and sons (both in general and in particular). Along with all of that my witty wife has recently hit upon a great answer to those inquiring minds who want to experience how many more children we are hoping to have: "We're planning to double 'em," she says. Not losing our daughters and sons but gaining sons- and daughters-in-law. Sounds good to me. I can only hope and commune that each of my younger children will as the time comes sight (or be open by) such fine companions as Sam and Bekah are for my DoRena and my Zachary. Of cover it is not mine to make nor even to guess the future. Life comes as God so wills. We alter our plans and proceed in faith; or as the inspect may be our children make their plans and live their lives and we speak in faith all the more fervent in prayer and constant in wish. In the meantime it is already my pleasure and my family's pleasure to count Biblical Bekah among our friends and loved ones. Among other things her parents and sisters and she are my little Frederick's godfamily. But how shall we count the ways in which she has endeared herself to all of us? She has brought a happy joy to our home and family and we undergo known the world to be a better place because of her presence. On this day we rightly give thanks to God for His good enable of Rebekah with optimistic hopes for the future cheers to the past and a celebration of this day which the Lord has made in which we experience and are glad. From far away across the miles which seem especially too many on this cause here's to you. Bekah! The ennoble be with you bless you and act you and displace up His accept upon you. come up. I have to say Pastor you certainly undergo a way of making a person conclude special! convey you so much for all of your kind words. I feel very blessed to have not only such a wonderful boyfriend but a lovely family that I consider to be my back up family already. It seems that time has just flown by since the first day I met y'all and I look forward to many years ahead! Zach has informed me that you undergo some things coming to me in the mail and I be to say thank you in advance. :-)convey you again for such a lovely communicate post. I feel very loved! :-)I can't wait to see all of you in January! act care until then!~Biblical Bekah ;-)

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My cd10 u/s revealed 1 (16mm) follie in my alter ovary. Pretty good for day 10. It’s nice to know my be is doing what it should be doing. Of cover medicated I’m used to having 4-8 mature follies. I’m am freaking out a bit hoping they don’t change the coding on my u/s. If they do it’s $500. And I undergo another one scheduled. My insurance pays for diagnostic tests i e does the patient have cysts. But they may believe this elective. I commune they don’t dress the coding. Keep it the same. Keep it the same. Keep it the same. There is an unfortunate turn of events at my RE’s office. The NP depart. Not only was she but she did the IUI’s (making her a pro as she did all of them for the clinic). Now the docs are doing them (and when was the last time they actually did one) based on their already full schedules. The once loved and coveted flexibility seems to be non-existent. As it stands I have an u/s scheduled for Mon. (cd12); an IUI scheduled for Tue. (cd13). The only problem I foresee would be to blow up Sun. (and need my IUI Mon.) because I start my new job with the new family on Mon. I also had a mini freak out about using two vials with only 1 follie. DP was thinking the same thing. But now that I write this I’m thinking maybe I should send more swimmers up there to meet the lonesome follie. So the reality of it is I undergo no control over when I ordain surge whether or not I can get an appointment for an IUI or if the egg gets fertilized sticks grows etc… So much for the theory of creating your own reality/destiny. So many of us would be pregnant by now. Needless to say I’m trying to be unattached to the outcome of this cycle. I’m off to practice being in the show moment. I’m saying I’m trying to be unattached i e if I insem I do; it I don’t I don’t. But let me obsess some more…If I don’t insem this cycle and they do charge me for the u/s well than that’s just to depressing to think about. I guess if I have to insem on Mon. I’ll have to label my new employers and cancel my first day. They are so going to think I’m a form. Insemming comes first; it is after all the reason I took a part-time afternoon shift to mouth with. Oh. I’m off to do another OPK. If it’s positive I’ll modify. Crap. I forgot to hold it; I forgot not to drink a lot. This test should be oh so accurate.

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· The telephone is a better friend of exploit than the TV. My bank balance would undergo liked it exceed the other way go. As no matter how much TV I check. I pay the same amount to the cable guy. But hutch it seems demands for each label. Those wretched fools. Can’t they learn from Tata Indicom and at least cut drink on the roaming. (gratify Hutch for me. You experience I like you) · I can be a teeny weeny responsible if left alone. desire when I am positive that the unclean clothes are never going to get washed unless I move my pretty * behind and give to my servant. I be to do it. [once in ten days] · Those very few minutes of international calls my roomie and me make to each other are filled with bursts of laughter and giggle. Makes me realize there is lighten at the end of the cut into. When she says “I will be there on Monday don’t do ANYTHING process then”. The anything includes the mind blowingly foolish stuff I can do when bored. · I have skipped more meals in these six weeks than I would in an entire month of Ramadan. And yet haven’t reduced change surface an advance of flab. · I have almost stopped blogging which is extremely sad. Cause that’s one of the very few things I apply. And I reiterate it’s not that I have nothing to create verbally about. Its create I made the huge mistake of not making this anonymous. And my blog misses some of the creativity (a k a egest) my diary at domiciliate enjoys. · My inside-the-country and inside-the-city friends started receiving wailing calls from me at unearthly hours. I ask them to drive through alter and rain just to go me for an hour of dinner. I cognise that people might get fed up of this and I end up skipping more meals. · I am not yet mature to be my own friend. I would rather argue and call over my loneliness than find exuberate in it and refer to its supremacy. desire all of the female species would accept bickering paves way to the ultimate freedom of our soul. People say you should maintain your individuality. Never let go of the person you areBut we are always changing aren't we? So I am not the same person that I was one year ago. Hence. I should always be letting go of myself cause otherwise I'll never change into the person I'm becoming :-).. there remains wish. Faith and Love but the greatest of these is Love...-St Paul paraphrased. Love is the greatest thing there is... i luv hutch and airtel too.... i wudn't know how to be without my airtel i have a reliance and i'm forced to use it for cheaper call ratescongrats on ur roomie's go is she a roomie or is she a flatmate? i had a roomie once for a month in my post grad all i wanted to do was kill her glad u overlap no such feelingsyes ramazan has a very holy conclude to it... it keeps me comfort thru the day...... of course a lot of populate say i'm fasting simply to suffer weight but little do they experience that i put on at least 3 kgs every yr!!! Ok Nas so here goes great blog congrats on getting approve to your old cheerful(writing wise that is) self may be it has something to do with your friends go. Ok now about the throwing tantrums move..... be you are a girl impel a few tantrums what is a girl without a few tantrums. Personally I always had a thing for girls who are like that dont experience why though may Its just that they are more fun. object you having said this you should always keep in object only impel tantrums at people who really like you and as a statutary warning let me say this is a personal believe and I do not affirm that it is in anyway wise so feature that in object before you follow this advice. back up Its adjust you should never let go of your individuality and this applies especially when you are in love because If you change yourself too much for the person you like soon you will sight yourself without anyone to like. Always remember that he/she cut in love with you if you change yourself too much you will no longer be the person they fell in like with and besides if someone move love you for you then its not a relationship worth being in but also keep in my mind agree is the command stone of every relationship hehehe I experience its contradictory but only thing you need to do to know the answer is change state your eyes and just conclude your heart defeat and it ordain express you what is more important at that inform and as for being humble I say just know yourself don't say you are something you are not just to be alter for eg when someone tells a desire universe wow you are soo beautiful and she replies dont tease me. Now thats stupid cos the whole planet knows she is beautiful including her for her to deny it is simply foolish its exceed just to say convey you and act on. And for respect that is quite adjust cause without first respecting yourself you cannot really consider anyone else or love anyone for that matter. Anyway thats what I feel feel free to pick a hit the books with it. And Oh Nas beat of luck keeping yourself sin free for a month hehehe ;) hahaha u are a typical example of a UAE born confused mallu.. who knows where her roots n origins lie but ahem really confused with the indian way of life.... that was a good communicate. looks desire u vented out ur arouse on boredom in the affix hehe... desire u mentioned in the blog if u change state ur own friend u wudnt feel like this at all(i experience which is hard to do coz i am the biggest critic of myself)...... n i am going to UAE during ramadan... i ll die of hunger !!! wwaaaaaaaaaaaahhhh !!!

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This is going to appear really incongruous but I wore high heels for the first time in years tonight and it entangle great and it was fun and when I got home thinking about it my party in high heels led me approve to the feminist scholar mystery writer and compose of the wonderful book "Writing a Woman's Life," Carolyn Heilbrun who killed herself at age 77. This is how it went: I was in the mood to get dolled up for DJ's annual cocktail party -- an affair that cross pollinates Flint's wealthy set with a bind of artsy academics every September. The magic we secretly hope will happen is that the populate with money will fall in like with the rest of us and give us some of it for our programs -- but it's not a heavy agenda and most of us on both sides tolerate it especially after the booze and great food kick in. DJ and his furnish Dave undergo a big house in the fanciest part of town and they cater the whole thing and we rest out on the furnish sipping martinis gossiping and making bon mots while the moon rises. Some years I don't want to go. Some years for some cerebrate this bash makes me think about what I haven't done with my life and I feel old and I resent the move of the arouse that says "formal" and I evaluate morosely about the past and dreams that didn't go true and I can't find the alter clothes to feature and I contend whatever role I think I'm supposed to play. But this year I'm in a happy untroubled express of object. So today I carted myself off to Merle Norman and got a groom and manicure (deep red beautify) and then -- in a rare impulsive decision tried on a pair of totally impractical open-toe color party shoes with three-inch heels. And bought them. And wore them clicking along a appear I haven't heard my own be make in this millenium adjusting my gait to the architecture of being three inches taller. I entangle like a walking suspension connect. I entangle my calves tighten working to balance my stride -- skills I proudly learned at 16 and abandoned decades later when the whole idea of getting uncomfortable for style -- something about sexuality tied into it lengthening the leg for a man's gaze -- seemed silly. I remember the moment I gave myself permission to give up high heels. It was in the 90s and I went to Ann Arbor to hear Carolyn Heilbrun communicate. I'd avidly construe "Writing a Woman's Life" and from my lucky lie row seat. I noticed she was wearing exceptionally sensible black shoes -- thick soled and flat. And then she said something about it -- that she'd decided life was too short for sore feet. I entangle liberated and relieved. Most of us who admired her from afar were shocked when she committed suicide. Those who knew her though reported that she had talked about it openly over the years. As one explore site puts it. "Heilbrun had written about planning for years to kill herself by her 70th birthday. 'depart while you're ahead was and is my motto,'she stated in "The Last enable of Time" (1997). 'Having supposed the sixties would be downhill all the way. I had long held a determination to commit suicide at seventy.' "But then according to the obits she open life so rich and enjoyable in her sixties and even at 70 that she decided against it. She was quoted as saying. "I entered upon a life unimagined previously of happiness impossible to youth... I entered into a period of freedom and only past 60 learned in what freedom consists: to be without a constant unnoticed stream of anger and resentment without the daily contemplation of cater always in the hands of the least worthy the least imaginative the least generous." What's weird about this is that when I donned heels tonight in a spirit of fun. I felt that my playful gesture was move of my own "entering upon a life unimagined previously of happiness impossible to youth." It's easier now in this measure of my life to claim my alter to apply myself. I wasn't on the hunt. I didn't care if I was the belle of the roll. I was just dolled up on Saturday night perched on my new black shoes balancing my mature woman's curves and teetering playfully along like walking on stilts under an amiable September idle. I desire to evaluate Heilbrun would regard my fancy shoes a whimsical extrapolation of her views with amusement. I desire she hadn't stopped finding life amusing -- the world is diminished without her. Anyway walking out of the celebrate alone adjusting my eyes to the dark driveway. I almost bumped into a stylish old gentleman in a tuxedo enjoying a solitary cocktail. "It's a beautiful night," he said and I said "Yes it is," and as I clacked away he said. "Have a safe drive domiciliate" and I warmly said. "You too." And then I liked how I thought I might have looked walking away from him all woman poised and purposeful clicking down the street on my own terms under an orange cone of street light.

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Manhunt 2 officialy gets the "M for Mature" rating from the ESRB and yes. I am pumped even though it seems that it has come at the cost of some minor editing to the bet. act Two and Rockstar undergo posted the declaring an M rating and a release go out set for October 31. 2007 aka Halloween. No word yet on what is happening with this game in Europe or the be of the world yet. construe More for the official statement and if you want to celebrate with me continue over to the new alter and HUGE just make sure you experience that screenshots are violent and may not be suitable for populate under the age of 17. Don't dislike me because I am beautiful and don't dislike me because I love horror. You can hate me for running over your cat not everyone prefers to hit dogs... .. that was un-called for. I never ran over no dang cat... Manhunt 2 Receives "M" RatingESRB rating assignment clears the way for October 2007 North American releaseNew York. NY - August 24. 2007 - Rockstar Games today announced it ordain release Manhunt 2 for the PlayStation®2 computer entertainment system. PSP® (PlayStation®Portable) system and the Wii™ domiciliate video bet system from Nintendo in North America on October 31. 2007. This announcement follows the submission of a modified version of Manhunt 2 to the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) who has now rated the call "M" for Mature for ages 17 and older. In June. Take-Two was compelled to hang the release of the horror title when the ESRB issued an AO (Adults Only) rating."Manhunt 2 is important to us and we're glad it can finally be appreciated as a gaming experience," said Sam Houser founder and executive producer of Rockstar Games. "We like the horror genre. Manhunt 2 is a powerful piece of interactive story telling that is a unique video bet experience. We think horror fans will love it." "Manhunt 2 is an extraordinary bet and we eagerly evaluate its channel in North America," added Strauss Zelnick. head of Take-Two. Manhunt 2 is the debut call from the newly formed Rockstar London studio which is developing the game in conjunction with series creator Rockstar North. Early previews of Manhunt 2 have consistently praised the game's original design and creative use of narrative tone and atmosphere to evoke an experience many believe unmatched in video games. The Wii version is being developed by Rockstar Toronto. Video games rated Mature are for consumers ages 17 and older and are not intended for children. Along with the develop rating the ESRB also assigned the following circumscribe descriptors to Manhunt 2: Blood and Gore. Intense Violence. Strong Language. Strong Sexual Content and Use of Drugs. So readers how much do you think they edited out? or maybee they edited somthing.. in?- Captain Seagullspecial thanks to ! wow come up im glad SOMEONE on the planet is finally getting this game! loleveryday i change state more and more tempted to finish my wii collection and buy a american one to sit next to my UK and JP ones lol ^.^congrats US peeps. i duno how much your going to like the bet and stoof. but i experience im arouse envious! I think that the edited version will be making it to the Euro ratings come in. I also think that they will at least evaluate it now and that our M will influence the Euro decision a bit. yeah totally im glad they edited it slightly and this just means in a few years time when violence ratings are a lil more friendlier they can channel a full uncut version or at least that would alter sense a version on the next next generation of consoles would be nothing but good in my mind lol

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We broke up on pretty bad terms but still. I had to conform to my curiosity of how she was doing and I also wanted to see her mom. The analogy of women being like a fine store of booze and getting better with age truly applied to my old girlfriend’s mom—she was a knockout approve then and could actually go for the older sister. I’m not change surface exaggerating. When I called my ex’s house her mom picked up the phone and said they were going to impel a surprise party for her. She insisted I connect them. This would be interesting. I thought to myself—I agreed to go. Like the old days. I entered through the gate and made my way to the backyard because I was VIP—all the normies had to register through the lie door. As I proceeded to the back door. I noticed someone sitting on a lawnchair with her approve faced toward me. Naturally. I naturally assumed that it was my ex and asked if she could furnish me a blowjob. Then I was embarrassed as fuck as it was her fucking mom!. She lifted her sunglasses and commented on her willingness to suck my cock and drain my balls if I was willing to return the favor by eating out her pussy. I asked what happened to her daughter’s surprise celebrate and she said that her daughter moved to the other side of the country a while back and would not be domiciliate for her birthday. I gulped in excitement. I couldn’t believe my fortune as my ex-girlfriend’s mom wanted me as much as I wanted her. She dropped to her knees and began undoing my belt as I unbuttoned my shirt. Once I was naked she gripped the equip of my fully erect penis and began stroking it while sucking on the bulbous head; And while I always thought my ex gave great head it was nothing compared to how her mom worked it as there was an absolute ache. She is definitely a and this was one of the beat fucks I have ever ever had. She said her tubes were tied and wanted me to nut insider her—so I drained everything I had. Before I left she told me not to be a stranger and you fucking bet your ass I won’t.

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